There are many ways to unload load pain from the heart. I believe that we came here to enjoy life as it is. We will have positive and negative experiences, but we are also able to heal and detach from past experiences. Happy and being full of joy is our natural state, it starts from within, not from outside of us. Our personal beliefs create our moods and feelings. So I had to ask myself what beliefs do I have that causing me to stay angry or depressed? If I change my perception then my feelings would then change. Maybe everything is not all bad, it's how I choose to see it, this is why I stopped being so hard on myself. I didn't come here to be perfect, I came here to experience to grow spiritually.