I need to work hard on my maths so I will be god at it.''My dads boss lives in a big hose.''When I am older I want to learn to drive a cat.'Children are at their funniest when they're trying to be serious, and their earnest attempts at mastering the English language are a goldmine of unintentional humour, from the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated. Enjoy this bumper edition of side-splitting spelling slip-ups and hilarious homework howlers.