As haughty, brilliant, and rat-faced Dr. John Heinbaum would undoubtedly say,
"I'll be happy to tell you about my discoveries. Explaining my work in such a way that it will be meaningful to a person with as low an IQ as you may be difficult, but I will try my best to make it understandable."
"You're a peach, Doc!" Lt. Jerome McPherson, the red-headed Scotsman exclaimed as he baited the egomaniac scientist to provide this brief explanation to my readers.
"Ever wondered about the real purpose behind the polio vaccine? How about what really goes on at the secret military base 135 miles north of Las Vegas, Nevada? Ever met a tall, enigmatic person wearing a dark green trench coat, a fancy sombrero, and dark sunglasses?"
"The Chrysallaman Empire has colonized every habitable planet in the galaxy, ruthlessly exterminating any sentient race that dared object to their benevolent conquest. Now they have completed a six month exploratory mission on Earth and found it to be an ideal colonization planet with a temperate climate, vast water reserves, lush vegetation, and a ruminant population of semi-intelligent animals called humans who pose no threat to the superior technological, mental, and physical strengths of the mighty Chrysallamans. In fact, when ground into a gritty paste, the humans are quite tasty. By sheer luck, the humans disable one of the Chrysallaman spacecraft in 1947 at Roswell, New Mexico, and capture a Chrysallaman youngster vacationing with his father. Now, with only 65 to 70 years until the Chrysallamans return to Earth with an immense invading fleet of warships and millions of colonists, humans have to prepare mentally, physically, and technologically, for the battle that will determine whether every human lives or dies."
"A special group of men and women are chosen to save humanity from the impending invasion. An eccentric scientist, red-headed hellion specializing in reverse engineering, DNA specialist, Xenobiologist, and an assortment of specialized military commandos are assembled by the Pentagon into F.O.R.C.E., the Federal Organization for Response to Celestial Enemies.
The Chrysallamans just may have met their match!"